In which Dick Gumshoe pet sits
by Animedemon01
Summary: That 1000 seemed like easy money when Dick Gumshoe first accepted the responsibility of watching Taka and Pess for a few days, but as time passes, he realizes the task isn't what it seems.


Dick Gumshoe was always looking for ways to make a little extra money, so when he saw an opportunity, he took it. Miles Edgeworth just didn't pay him enough these days, and it seemed that he was getting less and less every day (Miles had started docking everyone's pay for doing things that caused him problems, such as showing up late for court, pissing off Simon Blackquill, and giving Miles's current location to Phoenix).

This weekend Miles was attending a prosecutor's convention in Portland, and would have to fly out on Thursday. He somehow got it in his head to bring Simon, who in a last ditch attempt to get out of, mentioned that he had nobody to care for Taka. Since Miles already needed someone to watch Pess, he offered Dick $1000 to watch both animals for the almost for days they'd be gone.

Dick had accepted right away. $1000 was a lot, and pet sitting didn't seem too hard; he could even bring them to his place, as the apartment complex allowed pets, and he already took care of Missile. With this money he could finally replace some of the old appliances in his apartment, specifically his microwave that liked to burn popcorn and electrocute him.

Both Miles and Simon had given very detailed instructions about the care of their pets, to the point where Dick wondered if the animals weren't pets, but stand-ins for the children neither man had. Compared Missile, the two animals had quite lengthy instructions.

Pess was to always have fresh water, which needed to be changed twice a day before breakfast and after dinner, she needed to be feed three times a day; dry food for breakfast and dinner, and wet food for lunch. She had an appointment at the groomers for ten on Saturday, and also needed to be walked twice daily. The dog even had a bed time (Eight thirty, to be exact).

Taka was to be fed a frozen mouse (That had to be stored in the freezer and thawed prior to feeding) twice a day; any other food the bird wanted he killed himself. The bird was allowed to fly free (Via an open window) during the day, but Dick had to make sure Taka was inside by dark.

Dick looked down at Missile as he finished reading the emails detailing the care of both animals. "Looks like we've got our work cut for us the weekend, huh pal."

Missile whined in agreement.

Instead of the animals being dropped off at his apartment, Miles had thought it better to hand them-and their copious amount of things-over to Dick at the office at the end of the day Thursday.

He leashed Pess, but didn't bother doing the same to Missile, as the smaller dog was never one to run off (unlike Pess). Taka situated himself on Pess's back, which Dick found strange but didn't question.

He wrapped Pess's leash around his arm so that he's have both hands free to carry Pess's food, the cooler with Taka's frozen mice inside, Pess's bed, and Taka's perch. Missile carried the bag containing Pess's toys and bowls in his mouth, the bag dragged against the floor due to his small height.

Pess sat in the back seat of Dick's beat-up car, Taka still on her back. Missile sat up front like he always did. Both dogs spent the duration of the car ride with their heads out the open windows, tails wagging happily.

When they arrived at his apartment, Dick brought the three animals inside so that Pess and Taka could get a feel for the place, before retrieving their things from the car, taking two trips this time. He put Pess's fancy, porcelain bowls in the kitchen next to Missile's simple, plastic ones, and her custom-made feather bed next to Missile's cheap, Walmart-brand pet bed in the bedroom. Miles really did spoil his dog.

When Dick exited his bedroom, he realized the TV was on. There was no way it could've been left on, as he had to pass through there to get to the bedroom, and it was off the last time he checked. He looked over at the two dogs on the couch, and Taka on his perch. There was no way one of them could've turned it on, was there? Missile knew how to open the fridge on his own, so it _was_ possible that Taka or Pess knew how to use the TV.

He sighed, ignoring the fact for the time being, and going about feeding the dogs and defrosting Taka's mouse. Taking care of two more animals couldn't be too hard, could it?

Unlike Thursday, Friday didn't manage to go off without a hitch. Since he had been given a three day weekend off work, Dick decided to take the three animals to the park. Taka and Pess already seemed to get along so well, so he hoped maybe bringing them all to the park would inspire the two to include Missile, and stop ignoring him.

When they arrived at the park, as soon as he opened the car door, Pess shot out before he could get her leash on, running out of sight with Taka close behind her. Dick sighed; it was only day two and he had already lost both animals. Missile stared in confusion, wondering if he too was supposed to run off.

Meanwhile, Pess was following the scent of the hotdog cart that she had smelled from the car. Miles wasn't here, so she found no reason to be on her best behavior. Taka eventually caught up and perched on her back like he'd done before.

And then she saw it; the most glorious hotdog cart in the history of the world. It was even shaped like a hotdog. The cart itself looked so good that she couldn't help trying to taste it before burning her tongue on the hot metal and backing away. Huge food items were always too good to be true.

While the cart itself wasn't edible, she did have a plan to get some actual hotdogs for her and Taka. She went up to the owner of the cart, and started performing the few tricks she knew. When his eyes were off the cart, she motioned to Taka.

The bird understood exactly what she wanted him to do and grabbed two hotdogs in his long talons, letting out a cry to alert Pess as he made his escape. They both headed off, leaving behind a very confused hotdog vendor now wondering how a hawk and a dog managed to rob him.

Dick found the two missing animals under a tree, thoroughly enjoying their hotdogs. Missile whined in disappointment, he wanted a hotdog, too. Dick brought the pets three home after that, opting instead to take Missile for a walk as a reward for not running off.

On Saturday Dick took Pess to her appointment, leaving the other two animals behind. Taka somehow managed to find the groomers, catching Dick off guard as he walked Pess back to the car.

"How'd you get here, pal?" He asked the bird. "I didn't think you could fly that far."

In the few moments he was distracted, Pess decided to rid herself of that terrible clean smell by rolling in a fresh mud puddle. Dick pulled her out as soon as he noticed, but by that point she was covered in mud.

Then he got a text from Edgeworth.

 _We're getting on the next flight back. Something was going around at the convention, and now we're both sick and want to be home before it gets really bad. See you in three hours._

Miles never was one to use texting shorthand.

Three hours, that was no problem. Dick could get Pess back to his place and give her a bath in no time. Well, he could've if his crappy car would start. This was a problem; the groomer was ten miles from his apartment, and there was no way he'd be able to get a taxi or get on a bus with a muddy dog and a bird. He'd have to walk home, which would only give him half an hour to bathe Pess providing nothing happened.

If he wasn't there with a clean Pess when Miles and Simon got to his place, he might not get his thousand dollars. Or worse; Miles might cut his salary even more. He couldn't think about that; right now he had to get the two animals home.

He made it with only twenty minutes to bathe Pess. He scrubbed her clean as quickly as he could, and hoped Miles wouldn't notice the dried mud embedded deep in her fur. He even dried her with the hair drier that Maggey had given him the time he almost asked her out but instead got nervous and asked to borrow a hair drier instead (Which by the time he got around to returning, she'd already bought a new one) so that it wouldn't look suspicious.

Miles and Simon showed up at his door exactly three hours after the text, both looking pale and tired, and dressed in half normal clothes, half Steel Samurai cosplay. Dick stared in confusion for a full minute before replying.

"Odd choice of wardrobe for a prosecutors convention, don't you think, pal?"

Miles sighed. "Fine, there was no prosecutor's convention; it was Steel Samurai convention. I didn't even tell Blackquill before we left because I wanted to surprise him. While there, we managed to catch the con plague and had to return early. Tell anyone what you saw today, and your pay will suffer yet another cut."

Dick never told anyone what he saw that day, but he did get some pleasure from the various reactions he got from Miles when he hummed the Steel Samurai when passing by the chief prosecutor.

As for Missile, he was glad to have those two idiots gone, and have all of Dick's attention back on him.


End file.
